A most productive day out. Morecambe, Heysham Port, and tea and ice-cream in Heysham Village afterwards. Click on the pictures to make them big.
Archive for the ‘not writing’ Category
Research and Research Assistant
Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009On My Travels
Monday, August 24th, 2009A little post before I’m off on the train tomorrow to Edinburgh to read at the Writers’ Retreat tomorrow evening, alongside Ray Robinson. I’ll be reading from and talking about A Kind of Intimacy and Ray will be reading from his second novel The Man Without. Apparently, the two of us write ‘superb and unsettling fiction about damaged individuals and their effect on others.’ So now you know.
I’m kind of excited about this one. Would you believe I’ve never been to Edinburgh before? I’m not going to have time to stay for more than a night because we’re in the getting ready for new school and uni terms frenzy here at chez Jenn, but I did manage to bob into the Debenham’s sale to get a new dress.
It is spectacular (as was the fact it cost me only 9, yes NINE of your English pounds) and will also be the outfit of choice for Word Soup #5 – not until the 22nd September but already shaping up to be a top night with another great line-up. Ace!
Something else that is exciting is the 2009 Manchester Blog Awards. Can’t believe it is that time of year already. I remember last time, short-listed for the Best Writing on a Blog Category and reading a draft extract from Cold Light that had just appeared on my blog. A Kind of Intimacy hadn’t even been published yet.
This time, I’m going back as part of the entertainment (which makes it sound like I’m dancing, or telling jokes. Neither of which I’ve been asked / am able to do.) I could read a bit of A Kind of Intimacy, but I know that lots of people in Manchester have already heard me read it, so I might opt for something different this time. I’m quite excited about Cold Light, so it might be time to give that its first proper outing.
Hmm. Thinks thinks.
Nominations for your favourite blogs can be made via this link. There are several categories, and you can nominate blogs in more than one of them. It isn’t a vote, so if your blog has already been nominated (or you’ve nominated it yourself – it is allowed) then there’s no need to get all your friends to do the same. Can’t wait to see you all there.
And no, don’t ask me about how my shiny new writing schedule is going. When my mentor comes back from her holiday, I am going to be For It. I’m sure she’ll have some crazy punishments up her sleeve, but nothing is as bad as the guilt.
Blog Free
Saturday, June 6th, 2009
I’ve had a whole week on annual leave from my library job, and I’ve been able to spend lots of extra time with the small-fry.
Who told me yesterday she liked playing with me and me NOT being on the computer like I was ALWAYS not having my eyes on her but TYPING a story and she would not wait one more minute but play with me NOW.
She’s got blue eyes, and her iris goes violet when she’s pissed off. It’s a stop-typing-put-your-eyes-on-my-eyes warning. Scary. Apparently, I’ve got a look like that too.
Guilt comes with motherhood and it’s there no matter what you do, but if you’re owed email, blame her, not me. I’m off to do some dressing up for a fairy-castle tea-party with my very own enemy of promise right now.
Launch + Salford Gig + Polishing
Saturday, March 28th, 2009Last night was very fun. I think Sally and me were both a little bit worried that an audience who had come to see a musician would expect, well, music for the support, and not us, reading stories and resplendent in short skirts, coloured tights and unsuitable shoes.
But in fact, they were very nice and clapped and chucked in all the right places. Which was a relief. We were only sad we had to sneak away early before David Ford’s gig was finished to get the train, although we were presented with a CD each so there’ll be chance to listen to the songs we missed.
I like doing readings. Live Lit. I’ve done lots of them, and get less and less nervous the more of them I do. But I’ve never done one in a church before. It felt a little bit sacrilegious to be reading the bad words out in church – and we were, amongst a mess of wires, mike-stands and pedals, between a piano, a couple of guitars and a strange carpeted platform that plays the drums (not a lie) standing on an altar, after all.
There was a bottle of communion wine in the dressing room. (I didn’t, don’t worry.)
Here is David’s myspace. Thank you for having us. He’s going to be in Nottingham tonight, and the rest of the dates are on his page. Ace.
Other interesting things that have happened include the Official Launch: hosted at No Point 9 in Manchester. Also appearing at the night was my former MA tutor Geoff Ryman, who gripped the room with a reading from an historical novel in progress. The new quarterly lit-mag Bewilderbliss was also launched there, and is still for sale here.
Thank you for having me there too, and thanks to all who came and clapped and bought books. I got to sign books with my special fountain pen. If you’ve not sniffed my signature yet (what is WRONG with you people?) then sniff it now.
That smell, my friends, is rose-scented ink. The very same that Duncan Cheshire kindly sent in exchange for (I can’t remember what now) as part of the Essentials for Life project.
I am off to Derby tonight, for Hello Hubmarine. Haven’t decided on what I’m going to wear yet. If the truth be known, I am very, very tired, but that trip along the A6 through the Peak-District and towards good friends, good writers, good poets and good dancing, will no doubt perk me up.
Finally, the polishing.
A review of A Kind of Intimacy here, by Max Dunbar – and another one here, from The Guardian and written by Stevie Davies (when he says Alice, he means Annie. I am almost certain.)
See you when I get back!
Not Writing
Wednesday, December 10th, 2008A few weeks ago I was interviewed by a feature writer for a magazine. She came to my house and I made her tea. It was very nice. About half way through the interview I mentioned that I kept a diary and she asked if she could see it. I took her to my room and opened the wardrobe and showed her the box of notebooks (nearly a hundred of them, I think – and many are A4 sized and hardbacked) that I have been writing since I was thirteen. Also lots and lots of boxes of paper and typed things.
I think I can now pinpoint that as the start of my slide. It wasn’t emailing the novel off. It started a bit earlier than that. Seeing that box.
I can’t tell you how overwhelming the urge is to start undoing. I fancy burning or deleting. A little bit at a time, the way it was written. Just rubbing out slowly.
I am not depressed. I am mainly curious about what would happen. I want to stop all these words. I am thinking, every day, about Sarah Maitland’s silence.
My feelings at the moment are quiet, and a bit contemptuous or disgusted.
Can people forget how to read? Like, see words and not have an image or a message telapathed into their brain?
I want to make spelling errors in public.
I want to delete files at random on my computer and lock myself out of my email account.
97% Shame
Monday, December 8th, 2008LITHOPS STATUS: Green
That’s right. I finished a good-enough-to-let-someone-else-see-it-draft-of-Cold-Light and emailed it to my agent last week.
Then I went home and laid on my bed and got roaring drunk. Roaring. I didn’t even eat oranges. While I was lying on my bed, odd lines from the novel kept popping into my head. Lines like: ‘Uncle Ron dropped his trousers for a bag of Everton Mints’ and ‘Gordon buys petrol in tiny amounts’ and ‘the biggest eye in the world’. I sort of writhed (wrothe?) about in shame and tried to stop the email leaving my account and suffered a hangover and did it all again the next three or four nights.
Shame. Anxiety. Mainly shame. Some embarrassment. More shame.
My state at the moment is fragile and delicate. I’d like to be a Victorian lady in a white dress, fainting away onto a chaise lounge. I want to flutter my hand at my throat and sigh. Smelling salts. Indisposed. Does indisposed mean anxious and worried and nervy and generally slightly useless in a harmless, attention seeking way? I suppose it could mean bleeding or starving, but I mean attention seekingly crestfallen. Sigh. Swoon.
There are some good things.
A story of mine is forthcoming at Dogmatika. It is called ‘A Bin Bag Full of Compost’ and some of you may have already hear it because I read it at Beepfest, the time I failed to wear the pointy red shoes and displayed a remarkable lack of self control when presented with free bottles of beer.
I am also forthcoming at Sparks – a live lit night in Brighton organised by Jo Horsman. Because Brighton is about as far as it is possible to get from Preston and still be in the same country, Jo is going to read it for me. Thanks Jo!
On top of that, I am forthcoming at two festivals next year. Salford and Edinburgh.
sorry
Tuesday, July 8th, 2008Chris has got new business cards. I like them. I want some too. Mine would say:
I am just not feeling like reading or writing blogs or emails or books at the moment. I don’t feel like chatting or going out for drinks or doing the washing up. The laundry and hoovering hold no appeal for me either. I don’t like listening to the radio and I don’t feel like looking at a magazine. I am not tempted by ebay, Amazon, web forums, the Observer, my fountain pen or the bag of walnuts in my kitchen cupboard. I usually enjoy planning the death of my Landlord, driving very slowly in front of people who beep me at traffic lights, and bouncing on my bed with shoes on. I’m going to give these things a rest for a while. I am trying not to neglect the cacti family, but they are used to me and don’t need much. I am mainly indifferent to most of the people and things that I know.
I am not bored and I am not miserable. I am hibernating. My chatting and writing brains are tired. They are lying down under a brown cardigan with their feet pressed against a pillow. They are sighing and chomping and making sleeping noises. The light is hurting their eyes. The chatting and writing brains want a ‘do not disturb sign’, but they can’t be bothered to make it.
Sorry. I will be back soon.
Bags of Not Writing
Saturday, April 12th, 2008
This is a picture of me writing on the new typewriter. I am typing so fast my hands are blurry. I like that.
The one above it is something I made when I should have been writing. Everyone needs more bags. Bags are useful things. But even at the time it smelled a bit like procrastination. My desk is almost clear of empty cans, mugs, crisp packets, felt tip pens missing their lids and all other things that normally collect there when I am in the middle of something.
I have found that I haven’t had much time recently. I still have twenty four hours, same as everyone else, but those twenty four hours tend to be more and more full of stuff to do that isn’t writing. I think it might be a bit of procrastination and I think it might be that I am quite busy, no excuses.
When I didn’t work I didn’t write during the day either. Writing has always been saved for the evenings. When I started working I thought it would be easy to carry on this way. But the things apart from mothering (like laundry and cooking and food shopping and cleaning the toilet) were also done during the day. And I had naps. Which meant the nights were generally longer. So it isn’t working out as well as I had hoped.
Here are some of the other things that I do instead of writing:
a) Making bags and shawls and other not strictly Essentials Of Life.
b) Reading.
c) Having very long baths – often combined with (b)
d) other kinds of writing: emails, blogs, book reviews, journals, letters, lists, plans.
e) talking to my friends
f) watching films
g) ‘pottering’ (this generally means rearranging the things in my house then putting them back where they were)
h) ironing trousers for work
i) housework (although I have cut hoovering down to a minimum)
j) dozing
k) watering houseplants
I think I need to eliminate some of these things so that I can write some more. I was going to get a hair-cut today but I decided to spend the money on getting five loads of laundry washed and dried and folded at the launderette. I even asked the man to fold my clothes and the Small Fry’s clothes in different baskets so they would be quick to put away when I got home. I think this is a good step forward.
My Life Is Going To Be Like This # 2347
Tuesday, April 1st, 2008I’ve got all the accessories for being a writer. I have got a blue typewriter and a brown reading chair and a red bookcase and a fountain pen and some computery type things with keyboards. And paper. I’ve loads of that. I’ve got a few notepads and three expensive notepads for special ideas. I’ve got a stash of scrap paper beside the bed, just in case.
And my love for Biro pens is genuine and steadfast.
Did I mention I was moody? I like drinking on my own, scowling, and looking out of train windows into the rain. I especially like imagining what I am looking like when I do this.
The only keyboard short-cut I know is the one for Word Count. I also know how many words I can type per minute.
I can use words like ‘climax’ and ‘flashback’ and ‘resolution’ and ‘character development’ in a way that sounds like they might mean something.
I have decided from now on I am only going to write shopping lists. And maybe memos at work. But possibly not.
Please Give Me A Reason To Li(v)e
Monday, February 25th, 2008Right. I think because I had a holiday from blogging because of not having the internet and being on holiday for a bit I am now out of the habit of blogging. I am sick of it. It is like having a pet you can’t forget or someone will get the RSPCA onto you. Like it is a plant it would be morally wrong to knock over and hide behind a wall.
So I am lacking in ‘inspiration’ for blogging. So I will not. For a bit. Until I get more inspirations.
Although I might do a photoshoot of this jigsaw I am doing about Deep Sea Fish. And maybe a picture of a shawl I am knitting.
I read The Raw Shark Texts while I was on holiday. I wanted a book sort of about the sea to take with me. I really liked it. I especially liked the ending because I couldn’t decide if it was sad or not. But then the very end of the ending was a picture, which looked sort of happy. So I thought it must be a happy ending. I’ve been studying endings recently because they aren’t my strong point.
I’ve also been reading lots and lots of A L Kennedy’s short stories. I really like them too. I’ve had good luck with choosing books recently. Even book-choosing professionals sometimes get it wrong.
So now if you feel like doing a guest post for this blog or giving me a subject to write a blog post about I will. I quite like the idea of a guest post. You can write whatever you like. You can pretend to be me and make all kinds of confessions. I’d really like that.
Otherwise I’ll probably just be quiet for a bit. Unless I need to plug something.
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