Archive for the ‘lent’ Category

Increased Output

Saturday, April 19th, 2008

Today, even though it is the weekend, I got up early and washed my hair and put my shoes on. I put my other clothes on too, of course. But the shoes are important. They make you feel like you are properly going to do something.

That’s because I have today all to myself and I am making it a writing day. I want to get as near as I can to finishing the first draft of fishbook. I haven’t read it back or tinkered with it yet. I expect it will be terrible and I will be distressed when I go back and read it. But then there will be stuff in that draft that I can work with. I don’t know what my stories are about until I can have a read of them. It is clearer on paper than in my head.

I am not sure how typical writers who are full time plan their days. I am going to type, then have my dinner, then go for a walk, then type, then have a cup of tea, then do some writing in my notebook, then clean my desk and go and pick up the Small Fry.

I have banned myself from email, tinterwebs, texting, hoovering and everything else. I am only allowed to press ‘word count’ once, just before I go for my dinner.

I will write you a story if you give me some cardboard boxes.

Tuesday, January 8th, 2008


Today I have about three or four things that I have written which are ‘forthcoming’ in internet magazines and blogs that I admire. This is really good going. I am doing better in 2008 than I did in 2007. But I am not trying harder or writing better. I am not sure if people are liking my writing more. I have not been praying or anything.

Maybe I am writing better. It is about bloody time if this is the case.

But I have not done any drinking or smoking and I am having significantly less caffeine than usual. I have been throwing away or recycling or giving away about half of the things that I own (except my books). I have taken the advice of my friend and stopped sleeping with the radio on. I have spent every evening and night of this year on my own in total silence apart from things buzzing in the house like the heating and the fridge. I think I am getting so superstitious about Top Banana Writing Successes that now I am going to have to carry on doing and not doing these things. Possibly for the rest of my life. I am going to turn my whole life into Lent.

When the writing dries up I will probably turn back to drink. But at least I will appreciate it.

I have finished writing a story today about a woman called Alex who tries on all the makeup in the shop where she works. Her boss doesn’t like it. She goes home and listens to herself breathing into the telephone. She thinks it sounds like a shell. There is a wedding dress in it, and a part where she practices walking up and down on the sea-bed. I think it needs one more draft and then it will be ready for public consumption. I am going to see if I can find somewhere on the tinterwebs to take it so people can read it for free.

If people didn’t mind chipping in for my rent and buying me orange juice with bits in and new socks every now and again I wouldn’t mind doing writing for free, to order. If you would like a story from me you can ‘commission’ me to write something in exchange for some essential of life. I don’t really need anything at the moment but if you have a lot of empty cardboard boxes you don’t need I will write you a story for them. I am not very good at poems. That hasn’t stopped me writing lots of them in the past though. You just tell me what kind of things you would like in the story (like mice, or presents, or sunglasses, or elephants) and I will knock something out for you.

Think about it. You know it makes sense. I am a cardboard-box whore. There isn’t anything I will not write a story about. I don’t really have morals where writing is concerned. Try me.


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Pointless Bench
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