New Blog Rules

From now on I am only going to blog about the nightmares I am having about the publication of Cold Light. I’m having really, really detailed nightmares right now.

A special hard-backed novel-length bad review of Cold Light free to every reader of *insert your favourite broadsheet here*

For the tabloid reader, a full colour supplement, eight page spread of bad reviews..

Oh God. What have I done?

I think I might write the reviews myself, and pitch them to all the papers and blogs and amazon reviewers and good reads raters and book clubs and crazy people who like to send me facebook messages / email me in the middle of the night. It will save them time and at least then there’ll be no nasty surprises for me.

I am sure if I did this I would stop having the nightmares. Whenever I stand on a bridge I worry about falling off it. That feeling makes me want to jump down, just to get the anxiety over and done with.

Jackets for the hardback arrived yesterday for me to look at. They are perfect and brilliant. I got a hardbacked book of around the same size (it was The Tiger by John Valiant) and tried them on. Felt a bit daft. Took the dust jacket off and got John’s book dressed again. Sorry John.

Picture stolen from here

2 responses to “New Blog Rules”

  1. Tim Franklin says:

    The point to worry about jackets is when you start slipping the cover from other people’s books onto yours, which must be the literary equivalent of gender-swapping your underwear. “Oh, this? It’s a treatise on the impact of Kant’s first Critique on 18th Century opera. Nothing to do with me at all.” What would people say when they found out? Think of the opprobrium.

    As always in times of stress I suggest turning to AL Kennedy for words of wisdom: http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2009/aug/03/dont-read-reviews

  2. Tim – you’re a legend. Maybe you should hire yourself out as an Agony Uncle for distressed novelists.
    🙂

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