Well, Big Tossers were supposed to telephone me on Friday or yesterday to discuss my complaint about them. They gave me a complaint number and everything. I actually have three different complaint numbers, because when they don’t phone me back, I ring up and complain again. I don’t think they are ever going to call me back.
I have also got a reminder for a bill that is a duplicate of one I have already paid, just with a different account number, and they are going to cut off my tinterwebs tomorrow and make me pay £189 because apparently I am still in contract with them.
I am really scared. I can’t get in touch with them to explain why I shouldn’t be paying this money. If anyone lives next door to the Big Tosser family, will you let them know for me?
Maybe I won’t go to jail. Maybe they will send round customer service assistants to come and do high kicks and stabs and generally duff me up.
Maybe, one by one, all of the services in my house will be cut off. The utility companies will gang up on me and punish me for being an irritant to the Big Tosser Family.
Maybe they will get into the computers of the government and erase my identity.
Basically, what this means is that I might not have any internet tomorrow so won’t blog or email as much. I will try to blog and email on other people’s computers, but November is the month for finishing Cold Light, so it will probably do me good.