Emma just wrote a blog post about her writing place and her crisp white bedsheets. I’ve got white bedsheets too. I want them to be crisp and inspirational, but mainly they are not. I wrote a little bit about them a while ago in this story. I haven’t written a true facts story about my bedsheets or anything else for a while.
Here is a list. The list is of the number of things that are on my bed right now.
1. Four pillows
2. One duvet.
3. One red and orange sock.
4. My work bag
5. The belt and the chain and the emergency silver whistle and the big jailer’s key ring and tally I use for work.
6. Two very small black shiny shoes with silver buckles.
7. A tiny white computer I am not typing on now but might do later.
8. A bit of see-through cellophane. I think it used to be around a packet of biros, but I can’t be sure.
9. A pink hi-lighter.
10. A pink etch-a-sketch.
11. A miniature plastic dolls house in the shape of a toadstool.
12. A white underthing (small fry calls it ‘booby vest’)
13. A bent Kirby grip.
14. A (frankly, quite disappointing) wage slip.
Later, when I go to bed, I will get in and wave the duvet about a bit and kick my legs about until all these things are in a place where I am not. I will sleep surrounded by them all. If I thrash about too much in the night I might knock the miniature dolls house and open it by mistake and set the music off. This will make me angry.
Tonight I am writing about cremated remains (if they aren’t called cremains, they should be) and someone wanting to chain herself to a tentacle, and yellow all purpose cleaner and a bad, bad girl called Chloe who I am not sorry for at all. Not At All!
Also, I am about to find out exactly why salt melts ice, and if other sprinkled things could melt ice, like cremains. Could cremains melt ice? Even just a tiny bit? I need to know. Also, why does the sea make icebergs when salt melts ice and there is salt in sea water?