Bad Plans

Emma is on holiday. I am feeling a bit like Getting Up To No Good. I am going to try and kill someone while she is away. Please go to Sh and vote for someone who you want dead before she comes back and prevents me.

I keep rubbing my hands and chuckling to myself. I keep thinking of Emma coming home and unpacking her suitcase. She might eat a bourbon biscuit or drink some Coffee. She might think, ‘oh, I wonder what has happened to Sh while I have been away.’ Then she might turn on her computer. She might read for a bit and frown. She might send me a long email with CAPS LOCK and bold and words like ‘back turned’ and ‘rack and ruin’ and ‘total disrespect’ and ‘lack of artistic integrity’.

Even if you have no interest in Sh you should vote anyway. Vote at random. It will be like chucking a penny off a tall building or shooting a gun blindfold. These are good things we can do on the interwebs but never in real life. You should help me in my schemes.

It keeps me t’off t’streets and planning body disposal in my bedroom, where I belong. 

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