Bacteria + Swat + Buttocks + Colour Coded Goal Setting

I have wangled a day to myself tomorrow. It is going to be good. I have decided to write a plan. This plan will stop all forms of procrastination. The plan will be antibiotics to the bad bacteria of lazing. It will be a swat to the buzzing bee of loafing. It will be a swift slap to the buttocks of the three and a half year old of distraction.

I’m not joking. I have written a plan. There are boxes, and times, and I might find some colouring pencils and make it into a time-table.

This is the plan:

10am: walk fast along the river. Buy bag of sugar.
10.50am: make big pot of tea in second best tea-pot.
11am: draft stories to be recorded for broadcast on Preston FM
1pm: dinner
1.30pm: practice some shorts for Flax poster submissions
3.00pm: drink tea from best blue and white tea-pot. Three biscuits.
3.20pm: write up scene for fishbook about roasting tins full of ice
4.30pm: have another look at Preston FM stories
5.30pm: write up scene for fishbook about running away from Barbara and seeing a boy at a bus-stop in the middle of the night
6.30pm: tea
7.30pm: walk (possibly past off-licence)

evening: blogging, Sh, emails, reading (Rabbit is Rich and some articles about bio luminescence from the library.)

If I feel like staying up late, I might write something about an idea I have about clocks, and getting lost. But this is optional. Depending on how much walking I do, I might not feel like staying up late. That will be okay. I will have worked hard. I will be able to listen to the World Service and do some knitting and maybe paint my toe-nails before I go to sleep. My friend Guilt will be quiet tomorrow night.

I think this is a good plan. The fishbook scenes are second drafts, but I will be handwriting them. Everything else will be on my computer. I think swapping about like this will stop my hands and eyes from getting tired. I feel excited.

I don’t think I could be the kind of writer who drinks a lot and takes impulsive ‘road trips’ and goes to horse racing tracks with paid escorts. I don’t think I could live in a squat and set fire to things and have adventures. Not knowing what is going to happen tomorrow takes up quite a lot of thinking time for me. I am against spontaneity. I prefer to save all the worrying and slightly dangerous things for the writing, and lead a life that is as safe as possible.

I hope I don’t get old and regret my small life and big imagination. I could, possibly, ‘lighten up’ a little, but I don’t think that I would produce my best work that way. I think I need an office and a clocking-in card. I am a librarian. If I wasn’t a librarian, I’d quite like to be an archivist or a museum curator. 

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