To the person who found my blog by googling ‘head flushing toilet twice’:
I am sorry you only found a post wittering about how writing was like going to the toilet. Necessary, but not for dinner conversation. Was it a disappointment?
Did someone flush your head down the toilet twice? I am thinking of the boy I sometimes see on the way to work. The ginger boy with the too-short trousers and the green scarf. You should really wear a coat as well as your blazer. And go to bed earlier. Did they flush your head down the toilet twice? Twice? Were you soggily searching for possible after effects? Or methods for revenge? Or checking to see the bastards hadn’t youtubed it?
I am thinking about my borrowers. Did one of you flush someone’s head down the toilet twice? Likely, perhaps, but I don’t think it was any of you. You aren’t allowed on the tinterweb, are you?
Whoever you are, if you are considering flushing someone’s head down the toilet twice, whoever they are, please don’t. It is unkind and I want no part in it. If it happened to you I am sure you will be fine as long as you kept your eyes and mouth closed and not too much water got up your nose. Most toilets are cleaner than the tables in pubs. That’s what I heard, anyway.