I am going to stop living in this house with the leaking shower that makes the bad black thing grow on the ceiling. At first it was quite interesting, like making shapes out of clouds. But it has grown from a gun to africa to a big mould monster as big as quite a big person. I am going to sell all my bulky possessions and most of my clothes. I will keep a little laptop computer and the eco-wash balls and the little arm band they give babies when they are first born. Everything else I will burn or sell on ebay. I reckon I should have enough to buy a rascal van then. I will make a life-style choice and me and the small person will live in it. We will not have jobs or go to play-group or have to have performance appraisals or fill out sticker charts for good behaviour. We’ll eat out of cans sitting in front of campfires and have tramps and cats for friends. Every now and again an Education Welfare Officer will come and tell us off but we will put out feet to the floor and with a big chunnering noise, peel away into the distance. I will beep the horn whenever I like, even when stationary. This will be ace! At the weekends, or whenever we are feeling miserable, we will take hot air balloon trips and teach parrots to swear.